I think it’s nothing but God that Sarah reached out and asked if I’d like to write a blog post for this month. Honestly, I wouldn’t have volunteered for the topic of “belonging” because that’s the one thing I’ve struggled with for the past two years. Monthly, I go to therapy, and session by session I try and figure out why it is so important for me to belong. Long story short, I haven’t pieced it all together, but during last month’s session I had a huge revelation that hit me hard in the gut. Most times revelations hit you so hard, because it’s been there swimming around for a while.
This journey of belonging has led me down plenty of winding roads and even a few dead ends. It’s led me to loneliness’ door countless times. I’ve been tricked into falling for loneliness’ charismatic ways and mistaking its “warm” hugs as real concern and companionship.
There have been a few lessons I’ve learned through this ongoing journey.
- “Warm” hugs from loneliness are temporary and you’ll be cold in the morning. — Finding comfort in loneliness feels great while it’s happening but the next day I’m left cold, alone trying to figure out why I indulged. What I’ll strive to do moving forward is to not open the door when loneliness comes knocking.
- Allow myself to go deeper than the surface. — One of my tasks has been to go deeper with people I meet. I have a tendency to talk to people long enough to see if they already “belong” somewhere. If I deem they do, then I abort the mission and run off to find someone else. What I’ll strive to do moving forward is accept that people can “belong” multiple places while treating them all the same.
- Always leave breadcrumbs while on your journey. — I wrote a blog post titled “Home Is Where The Heart Is” and I talked about cutting pieces of a foam heart and giving it to my boyfriend (now husband) when he did great things or the times when I wanted to run. What I’ll strive to do is leave mental breadcrumbs for myself so when times gets tough I can acknowledge my growth and how far I’ve traveled in my quest to belong.
- Belonging starts with you — I’ve spent so much time and energy on trying to figure out how and where I belong. As with so many other things in life, belonging also starts with YOU! It’s my job to continue to allow myself to be authentically me without judgement or ridicule. I’ll continue to learn more about myself and love the parts of me that are shivering in the corner just a little bit harder. I’ll work to make those parts feel like they truly belong.
Sheena Steward is a Lifestyle and Relationship Blogger. She appeals to readers by courageously sharing truths about life, love and overcoming adversity. Sheena is widely celebrated for her humanity and creating philanthropic campaigns to better her community and influence change through acts of kindness. Sheena lends her voice, experience and distinct superpower of vulnerability to help others navigate their life and relationships. You can connect with Sheena on Instagram: @Sheena_Nichelle21 + @love_at_any_stage
*Photo by Ivory Door Studio