What does it mean to be her? And who is she exactly? This is a question I used to ask myself while trying to unleash my inner confidence as I shopped for clothes which I felt would make me feel beautiful. It wasn’t until I looked in the mirror one morning when I finally noticed her. I finally saw the woman I was trying to become. I finally saw me. In that aha moment of vulnerability I realized that it wasn’t what I owned which made me who I was, but it was what I owned. I had to own my attitude, I had to own my confidence, I had to own my flaws, and I had to own every genetic make up which made me who I was.
Sometimes we can be our biggest critics. Where others see strength, we see weakness. Where others see greatness, we may see barely enough. When we lose sight of how valuable we are, we are subconsciously sending an invitation for insecurity to creep in. This insecurity also opens the door for her friend comparison. When insecurity and comparison come to town, it is not fun for you. You may begin to scroll through your time line on social media and see everything you wish you had. “I wish I had a house as big as hers. I wish I could drive that car. I wish I was as beautiful as her. I wish my hair was like hers. I wish I could wear that outfit. I wish I had it altogether just like her. I wish! I wish! I wish!” All of those I wish’s can have you going out using your credit card to buy confidence, to buy happiness, to buy beauty, and a lot of other unnecessary things you do not need to become the woman you are desiring to be.
You don’t have to compare your life to anyone else because just as you are comparing yourself to one woman, that woman is comparing herself to another woman, and she is comparing herself to someone else. It is a never-ending cycle which can only be cured by taking accountability into what you are owning. If you own negative energy then it will have power over you, your life, your thoughts, and your actions. If you own positive energy, then your perception of your life will change for the better.
We live in a society where the expectations of women are very high. As a woman, you are expected to have a full career, watch the children, cook, clean, do the laundry, wash the dishes, manage the bills, etc. Yes, its easy to say that women are pretty much like Superwoman, yet even superwoman needed time to herself. Don’t spend so much time taking care of others that you forget to take care of yourself. There is a quote by Cecilia Tran which states, “Self-care means giving yourself permission to pause.” Allow yourself the opportunity to pause and take care of the woman you are becoming. It’s ok for you to shop as long as you are shopping because you want to and not because you feel like you have to. Every woman is beautiful in her own way, but it’s what you own which makes your beauty unique. So, let me ask you, who is she? Who is that beautiful confident woman you are dreaming of becoming? You can be her because you are her! You just need to own it! You don’t have to compare yourself to anyone. You don’t have to go out in search of confidence or happiness because those are things which can be found within.
I challenge you to take a look at yourself in the mirror. I challenge you to love every scar, every wrinkle, every physical attribute of yourself. Then I want you to look deep within and figure out what things you love about yourself the most. When you realize your true value, your light will begin to shine even brighter than the sun. You are worthy of every dream your heart desire. You have the tools within you to evolve into the woman you want to be. On your journey of becoming her, remember one thing: You have to own it!
Courtney Brooks is the author of two published books entitled S.H.E. for Daily Motivation (West Bow Press, 2015) and S.H.E. for the Single Woman (West Bow Press, 2016). The title S.H.E. represents Serenity, Hope, & Encouragement. Courtney’s primary goal is to educate and inspire others to achieve their dreams. Courtney has been an inspiration to those around her. She has won the Nashville Top 40 Under 40 award and The Author of the Year Award for her literary works.
Courtney is a visionary who seeks to help and encourage individuals all over the world. She can be reached on Instagram @courtneybwrites