In Relationships

How I Finally Met My First And Only Valentine

Last year at this time, I was single as ever and dreading the upcoming Hallmark holiday. I’ve never had a valentine in my whole life and was getting pretty used to referring to it as “Galentine’s Day” instead. So there I was, once again rolling my eyes at every cute couple and bouquet of roses I saw because I didn’t get to participate in this “holiday” for another year in a row. I had just sworn off dating because let’s be serious, it’s a pretty tough crowd here in Nashville. I had spent way too many nights swiping on Bumble until I was out of people, scrolling through every age range on Match and cyber stalking basically every guy I’d ever dated. I was over it, and for some reason I was kind of okay with it. So I deleted every dating app and basically waved my white flag.

Once I stopped pressuring myself to hurry up and meet someone, I could focus on other things like my blog, my job, my friendships and planning fun adventures with all my favorite people. I felt a sigh of relief as I suddenly began to live my life without worrying who my next date would be with or if a certain guy had viewed my profile yet. Who wants to live like that? I surely didn’t want to anymore. I started going on more hikes, treating myself to a facial or massage, reconnecting with long lost friends, and writing blog posts that (hopefully) changed a life or two. I honestly was loving myself, loving my life and I wasn’t sure how anything could get any better.

And just like that, I got a text out of the blue from this guy I had matched up with on Bumble an entire year prior. We had tried to get together a few times but it never worked out, so naturally I just kind of brushed him aside in my brain, even though he had continued to reach out every few months. For some reason, this time when I got a text from him asking to meet up, I figured, why not? I hadn’t been on a date in probably two months and I had absolutely zero expectations. I told him I could do happy hour on a Monday (how special, huh?) because I never agreed to an entire meal before physically meeting the person.

Well, our happy hour date turned into dinner and five hours later, I found myself finally getting home, with that giddy feeling taking over. That was March 27 of last year. In September we got engaged at Arrington Vineyards, in October we eloped in Northern California and today I am excited for my first ever Valentine’s Day with an actual valentine. And he happens to be my husband.

So what changed in that eight weeks between being obsessed with finding someone to actually meeting the love of my life? I somehow learned to love myself, I focused on what I needed to for my own well being, I kept my friendships strong, and I had faith that God had a plan. That was it. As soon as I let go of constantly pressuring myself to hurry up and meet the right person, I learned to love myself for who I was as a single woman and once I got to that point, along came my first and only valentine.

Trust me when I say that you have to truly love yourself before you will be able to authentically love someone else. I’m living proof that life can change in the blink of an eye, but only if you’re ready for it.

Deidre DeFelice can be found spending her days making women feel beautiful and living out her passion for styling hair at the four different Blowout Co. locations. Her love for writing has led to being published on Thought Catalog and her weekly inspiration can be found on her blog, Left to Write
 * Photo by my forever Valentine, Jordan Heid

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