In Self-Care

Saying No

No. No is a complete sentence. You do not have to give a reason as to why you said no. It should be enough. Am I the only one who struggles with that? I feel like I need a solid excuse after I say no. “No, I have other plans.” “No, I will be out of town.” What if we were really honest and said “No, I need to have a night to myself” or even “No, I don’t want to.”


One of my favorite Phoebe moments from Friends is when she says, “I wish I could, but I don’t want to.” Such honesty! And people didn’t give it another thought because it was such a Phoebe thing to say.

Recently I started a list of people I want to grab coffee with. Some are friends, others are people I want to get to know, and others are people who work in my industry that I want to build a relationship with. The problem is that the list seems to be getting longer instead of shorter. I love making lists, but I love crossing items off the list and then deleting that particular list.

This is when I wish there were more than 24 hours in a day. I wish I could take a week off a work and just schedule 3-4 coffee meetings every day. But hello Nashville coffee prices, I would be even more broke if I did that.

It seems as though any free time I have lately, I’m trying to plan something. I’m reaching out to people to schedule coffee dates to fill up that free time. It is as though by having free time, I’m failing. Failing at what, I’m not sure. But how messed up is that thinking?

I need to start taking care of myself. I need to learn that having an unexpected afternoon off is a blessing in disguise. It’s okay to watch Criminal Minds on Netflix or the newest episode of New Girl. It’s okay to read Harry Potter and then take a nap. Not having a plan is okay!

Hustle seems to be one of the more popular buzzwords of 2016. If you aren’t hustling, you’re doing something wrong. Are you hustling and going after your dreams? Do you have multiple streams of revenue coming in so you can support said dreams? If you aren’t busy all day long and are getting over 9 hours of sleep every night, you aren’t hustling like you should be!

Excuse me. Who comes up with this stuff? Society is feeding us such crap.

You need to do what’s right for you. Give yourself permission to take the afternoon off. Schedule a coffee date with yourself and read a good book. Have a night to yourself where you put on a face mask and go to bed before midnight. Don’t be ashamed for taking care of yourself. Don’t be ashamed for saying no. You and only you know what your boundaries are. Be true to you.

Kelsey is one of those people who will tell you that Texas is the best state and Nashville is the best city. She loves traveling, exploring, local coffee shops, and reading. Thankfully she has a job that allows her to do all of these things. She is fluent in sarcasm, wants to be Jess from New Girl, and above all wants to build other women up instead of tearing them down.  All of her social media handles are @riotkelsey and she blogs over at

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