In Motivation/ Self-Care

Transformation Ain’t Easy: 5 Tips to Navigate

It’s happening. Right now. As you read this I am smack dab in the middle of a major personal and professional upheaval. In many ways this transformation is electrifying and liberating but in other ways it is daunting, overwhelming and…ugh.

In the wise words of beloved author, Cheryl Strayed “Transformation doesn’t ask that you stop being you. It demands that you find a way back to the authenticity and strength that’s already inside of you.”

The woman is right. For as much as transformation feels like changing into an entirely new human it isn’t. I like to refer to the process as “un-becoming.” Think of it as unwrapping a gift and the gift is you.

The up side to transformation is that it typically begins as an exciting endeavor. Imagine this: one day you wake up and BAM! It hits you! An overwhelming vibration surging through your whole body as suddenly, without warning, all of the solutions to your “What do I want to do with my life?” “Who do I want to be?” queries are answered. Instantly you know what your life was meant for. Hallelujah! The rest of your day is the greatest you’ve had in ages. Your hair magically lays flawless, cat-eye on point, green lights for miles, radio plays all your jams and even your coffee is free! It feels like the universe is giving you a colossal high five. You are certain this next phase of your life is going to be epic!

After all, you’ve seen it before. Your television and Instagram feed is bursting with women just like you. Time and time again you’ve witnessed tales of outstanding weight loss, glamorous makeovers, laptop ladies and media mavens transforming themselves and their lives from Kylie 2011 to Kylie 2016. Now it is finally your turn.

The thing is (insert bubble bursting) those are the edits. Those are the pretty pieces modified and filtered to lure people to take a risk and join in a personal revolution. Real transformation ain’t so pretty.

Real transformation means chipping away at all the crap that has built up around who you really are: childhood wounds, shame, guilt, heartbreaks, peer pressures, and societal expectations. Taking a hammer and chisel to those things, cracking them open and sifting through them with your bare hands is messy and painful.

So why even do it? I mean really? Don’t we all have enough going on without embarking on some drawn-out self-reflective journey? Your dreams can wait right? No need to mess with all the feels. I can’t speak for everyone but in my own experience, the alternative option, not transforming and staying stuck in a life that isn’t really serving me is more painful, more inconvenient and exponentially more draining.

My transformation began about 6 months ago when I recognized I had a gift I wanted to share and a business to create grounded by that gift. Cool, all I need is a biz plan and I’m set! Ha! This choice set into motion months of asking “Who am I and why on earth am I the person to do this?” Enter massive self-reflection and major transformations.

If you find yourself in the same place here are some tips that may help you navigate the icky parts of your new journey.



Have you ever watched a child play with bubbles? The moment that rainbow orb of soap floats off the wand a child is 100% consumed by a single goal: pop that bubble. That child has completely forgotten he fell and scrapped his knee a few minutes earlier, has no awareness of bystanders giggling as he stumbles in pursuit of that magical bubble. He is not worried about how he looks, if he will fail, what happens next or how he will carry on if that bubble floats away. He is simply present. Enjoying the moment while he is authentically himself. Be that little boy; chase your bubble.



Ok, so you have this great idea for a business. One that speaks to your very core. This is the idea that change your reality and finally grant you the life you’ve dreamed of. Only problem—seems like someone has beat you to it. You feel defeated before you even begin. Allow me to remind you of the world’s two favorite sodas: Coke and Pepsi. The difference in the two products is about one tablespoon of sugar. ONE TABLESPOON OF SUGAR. They are the exact same creation with the slightest difference and this difference has divided a nation. You don’t have to create something brand new to be relevant or successful. You only need to add your unique passion and flare. Don’t worry about what others are doing. If Pepsi worried about Coke what would I drink with my spaghetti?! #Teampepsi



When I say running buddy I mean someone who will jog alongside you as you transform. Someone who will hold you accountable. Someone who will be there on the side lines cheering you on, and most importantly who will be there at the finish line with a hug—and maybe a margarita because let’s be real, you deserve one!



This looks different for everyone. Transformations of any kind can be grueling. It is easy to forget the simple things you previously did to maintain self-care. Remain conscious of what your body and mind needs to keep moving forward.



You can do this today even before you begin your journey. Make a list of ways in which you have grown or moved towards your goals over a determined period of time. Let’s say the last three months. Write it down. You will be shocked at how capable you are and the numerous ways you have already grown. Do this every month. Check in with yourself. And for gosh sake pat your damn self on the back!

Allison Avalon is a Blogger and aspiring self-help mogul.  As a former counselor to at-risk youth Allison developed creative and inspiring new tactics to tackle self-doubt, negative self-worth and body issues.  In 2016 Allison created Yellow Brick Roads as a haven for one of kind, proprietary {IM}Possible workbooks and workshops promoting self-love, self-care, purpose mapping and Empower Parties. Additionally Allison moonlights as a personal wellness coach and motivational speaker for women and youth. You can follow the journey on IG: @yellow_brick_roads

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